I knew from the moment I learned that we had our first grandchild on the way and then right up to the delivery of our fourth grandson that being Grandma would be awesome.
Now I have learned that research shows that “Grandma Brain” exists – real, true, and wonderful.
According to author Kate Stone Lombardi, “MRIs reveal that grandmothers may feel more emotional empathy toward their grandkids than they did with their own kids.”
Oh! I loved my three children deeply and reveled in motherhood, but Grandma-hood reaches far beyond.
Some state that a bit of the marvel of being Grandma is the part-time aspect and thus minus the stresses of full time parenting. I agree that Grandma-time is special because it is distinct moments of life – neither 24/7 nor unbearably consuming.
When I do get whole days or weekends, or full weeks, I am filled with joy because this time is exceptional – and also because I am greedy and relish my days of fun.
Granted, when they do head home whether two-by-two or all four at once, exhaustion sets in requiring recovery time.
Lombardi’s son-in-law has observed the changes in her when little grand-daughter Anne walks into a room. She becomes “enchanted. Bewitched. Besotted.”
The way this is written in the article, I had to read and reread through my confusion. Is the description referencing the son-in-law, a doting father, Grandma Kate, the devoted grandmother, or Sweet Anne, the captivating child? Perhaps it is all three. I appreciate the possibilities and potential combinations.
While not a technical term, science and neurological research have determined “Grandma Brain” exists as that “something unique” that occurs when grandmas see grandkids. Devotion? Delight? Joy?
Intense feelings flow in many forms and can be identified in numerous terms, but if you are a grandma, or a lover of children, or a devotee of little ones you understand what I mean.
If you doubt me, Dr. James Rilling of Emory University’s Department of Anthropology and Department of Psychiatric and Behavioral Sciences scanned the brains of 50 grandmothers while showing them photos of their grandchildren. He recognized brain activity that explains the amazing “grand” bond. Interestingly, he did not study grandfathers. I would expect similar results with neural reactions, but I’d also expect differences. Further, I imagine each grandmother reacts with a variety of brain wave fluctuations depending on the photos themselves.
“What really jumps out in the data is the activation in areas of the brain associated with emotional empathy. That suggests grandmothers are more geared toward feeling what their grandchildren are feeling… If their grandchild is smiling, they’re feeling the child’s joy. And if their grandchild is crying, they’re feeling the child’s pain and distress.”
Even grandchildren messes and spills do not appear to upset grandmas like it might have with their own kids.
I don’t believe this is the empathy angle – things happen – but rather the “don’t sweat the small stuff” perspective. Experience does change how we react and even though red Kool-Aid on beige upholstery seems disastousr, there are remedies for the stain and as well as memories that linger as a formerly lovely chair now reflects a variety of flavored and colored foods and beverages.
After all, if you do not want a spill move the chair/carpet/blanket out of harm’s way.
Some of Rilling’s findings did not ring true to me, like how grandkids’ photos inspire reactions while photos of biological children do not elicit such responses. I wonder if he used baby and childhood pictures or those snapped a few days ago.
I may have to lead an independent study on this – baby versus toddler versus adolescent versus current photography.
What do you predict? Further, Dr. Rilling now studies saliva to see “whether grandmothers have more oxytocin [the love hormone] compared to women of the same age who are not grandmothers.
The ol’ spit test. He wants to continue his longitudinal research to determine if grandchildren slow grandparent aging by taking brain images and studying hormones before and after becoming a grandma (or grandpa).
Other non-neurological studies make the connections between being an active grandparent and improved health including a physically active lifestyle, positive sociability, and upbeat mental well-being.
I’d say my health is better (minus the sniffles) because of the games, races, outdoor activities, laughter, and creative endeavors of my four Grands. In each of them I recognize “past, present, and future” – grandpa’s hands, strong work and play ethics now, and bright dreams ahead.