#“You’ve reached ZYX Productions Inc. Thank you for calling. Your call is important to us. For your convenience you can also reach us on line at xyz@xyz.com. We are here to help.
#For our staff directory please press or say one. For I/R please press or say two.” And on and on.
#Well, this is how many of the phone calls I attempt to make these days begin. And I try to be patient and understanding at first in trying to navigate all the steps, detours and loop-de-loops that this AI robot seems to take such delight in running me through.
#But invariably, the robot reaches a point at which it does not know how to continue with this nonsensical runaround. That’s when it starts all over again.
#“For directory assistance please press or say one.”
#That is also about the time that I grip my phone tighter as my blood pressure increases. And I repeat over and over regardless of what the robot says: “Representative. Representative. Representative!”
#Also, on the rare occasion that I manage to get through to someone I’m supposed to deal with, of course they’re never available. I’m put on hold and I have to wait in line.
#Then I have to listen to their monotonous elevator music as the robotic voice chimes in from time to time: “You are currently caller number 17”.
#This is followed by more elevator music and if I haven’t hung up in frustration by now, I get another prompt: “Your estimated waiting time is currently 22 minutes”.
#If I ever try to reach the company online, well the confusion and runaround maze is even worse. And should I try to tell this little electronic demon like unit that I don’t text or use aps, well this as you might surmise does not compute!
#There have been a couple of very rare occasions where I have been successful in wading through all these obstacles and getting my task accomplished as in making a reservation. I was so surprised that I actually said to the non-human entity: “Thank you. I appreciate your help”.
#Right away I realized, What am I saying? It’s a machine. It doesn’t care. It ain’t got no feelings!
#Where, dear reader, are all the humans? Are there no Kelly girls that the company can hire?
#If my call was really important to them then they would have a human receptionist to answer my questions in person and connect me to the proper source.
#If they really wanted my business then they would treat me as a valuable customer rather than some sort of annoyance they do not want to bother with.
#You might expect something like this in trying to call and deal with government agencies and bureaucracies.
#They do their best to shuffle you off in some other direction on a wild goose chases most times. Or so it appears to me.
#They don’t even try to assure you: “Your call is important to us.”
#Computers are supposed to be communication tools. And just about everyone will tell you this.
#That they have greatly enhanced and improved our lives is a given. But how and why then do they go out of their way to muddle up, complicate and confound my life? Or should I blame those who program them?
#Direct personal face to face communication between humans sure seems to be becoming a thing of the past. Rather than a direct phone conversation, people so often these days prefer to text one another.
#I worked in sales off and on through my life and I found that communication is key. Straight forward, honest, face to face and directly dealing with your customer was essential.
#If he got the slightest hint that you were putting him off or reluctant to deal with him, he was gone.
#So, has human nature changed that much over the years? Are we devolving into semi- electronic, half human, half cyborg units? And where does it lead from here? Could we still survive if we were without our I phones?
#And would our lives still continue if the internet were to go down for a prolonged period of time?
#Oh sorry, dear reader, I didn’t mean to get into all this doom and gloom. I just wanted to make a simple phone call.
#I’m sure also that radio and TV were marvel advancements of their time and that they revolutionized mankind’s advancements and progress.
#But I doubt that people then were anywhere as dependent on them then as we here are on these computers.
#So, if there are any old antiquated cave men like myself out there, well I identify with and pity you. It seems as though so many of stories we read in those 1970s science fiction paperback novels are now coming true.
#Our world is turning digital and we are steadily being absorbed into an electronic matrix.
#So please don’t send me a text or email me a code to verify my identity. I know who I am. I am a human being.
#I’m not a robot!
#Ironically, Dan is at danhughoconnor@gmail.com