As 2024 draws to an end and 2025 dawns, I consider resolutions for 2025.
A few of these are easy: exercise to maintain good physical health and eat a nutritious diet to keep my body strong.
Such goals began years ago and have become semi-automatic. I feel pleasure, of course, that chocolate, my favorite sweet, has been deemed “healthy”. Whew! I know I can stick to past goals during the coming year.
A couple of other goals are tougher and will be achieved only with conscious effort.
A Christmas newsletter reminded me of something I need to work on. Linda states that this spiritual lesson comes from Soren at Wisdom 2.0. an online resource who says there are different ways of giving, either “from love” that includes no expectations and “for love” so that we get something in return.
Sometimes I am not even aware of my giving agenda. Example: my aunt Chum, neck-named by my grandfather from a character in the book Peck’s Bad Boy, was a brilliant artist.
Among her collection is a pastel of two cougars crouching on rocks, evidently surveying their prey. From a distance, it grabs attention; up close the details astound. It hung in my sister’s cabin for years, then became a gift to the log cabin, the one that partially belongs my family.
Allison loves this artwork and asked me to bring it home and have copies made. The original is 20x24; to preserve the integrity Jerry Hersch reduced it to 8x11 which is also handy for mailing.
An arduous process, the end result — magnificent. Thinking at first of prints for Allison and my sisters, the list extended to 20 family members, counting some who are not fond of me. I imagined this as the icebreaker that might build a bridge. Well, so far that structure is unstable and so I question from love or for love?
The positive texts of thanks and hardy embraces arrived from my “from love” group; the “for love” haven’t acknowledged “Chum’s Cougars”. And so, I question my intent and am learning that releasing the expectation angle also relieves tension.
A second thought comes from the autobiography Patriots by Alexei Navalny. With non-fiction books a favorite, his words resonate whether live as a dissonant, from Russian prisons, and now from beyond life.
He emphasizes appreciation of simple moments; meals together, walks with friends, sharing happiness as well as sorrow.
That positive outlook comes from someone who realizes that he will never exit the penal colony. He tells Yulia, his wife, that even if there is a regime change, he’ll be executed in advance. He knows too much.
Navalny blasts “glass”, the type of glass you see in movies where the one imprisoned and a loved one touch hands through this barrier. He and his family see each other, but an embrace is impossible.
He encourages readers to imagine having freedom to hug removed and then having the instant urge to hold a loved one close.
“I really didn’t mean to write a stupid, banal post urging everyone to phone their parents. But, like, yeah, do it. And turn up at a family meal together… And hug everyone at every opportunity you get.” What good advice and another practice to invoke in 2025.
The hugging part comes naturally, although, over the years I have learned to read a stranger’s face first, study the inclination to receive an embrace, and in some cases, ask permission. When I dive in unrestrained the stiffness of the recipient telegraphs my interruption of comfort.
I quickly apologize which is usually accepted (I think). However, as I walk away, I visualize my life without human touch and reflect on the emptiness I’d feel. But, individuals have the right to welcome my exuberance or to stiffen, freeze, or run.
This thought returns us to “from love” or “for love”. My real objective is simply friendship.
When last in Boise I accepted an invitation to join an Alzheimer’s Support Group. Interested in interacting with new people, I also gleaned information. A key idea: the bidet. In Europe a freestanding one is in virtually every hotel room and now these are popular hose attachments to toilets.
I even learned that you can hook these up so that the clean water is warm. When dealing with a child who is potty training or an adult with incontinence, what a convenient and helpful device. People who have installed one say it is the best.
Just a thought.