During our monthly Alzheimer’s and other Dementias Support group that meets the 2nd Wednesday at noon at HGH, we focus on those with cognitive decline. We also discuss the health and well-being of caregivers. Caregiving, regardless of age or reasons why care is needed, is an exhausting responsibility. With little ones one can always look to the future as independence and capabilities expand. With older adults who have reduced abilities, that task can be daunting with stress being physical, mental, and emotional. While there are good times and great laughs, the loss of independence is horrible. As a caregiver, your 2025 resolution needs to include taking care of yourself.
Start by taking a break to catch up on daily life. This may feel impossible but remember that every Thursday from 11-2:30, free respite for loved ones is available at Pleasant Senior Center – no cost involved. Please drop by the Board Room to witness our activities and interactions. This is just one of the community resources that can alleviate some stress.
Another outlet is education. Prior to “Respite Thursday” we sponsor education opportunities. Starting at 9:45am (or sometimes a little earlier), we gather to review topics such as planning for health care, lifestyle changes to accommodate caring for yourself and your loved one, making sense of dementia, and becoming a dementia friend. That is just the tip of the iceberg – any subject can be woven into our gatherings.
It is vital to guard your own health by eating well, exercising, getting plenty of rest, and socializing. This may sound impossible with an already crammed schedule, but don’t forget the 3½ hours offered to you with respite. Interacting with others can also decrease stress, being careful, of course, to select happy, healthy, and supportive individuals who listen and care without overwhelming you with excess advice and interference.
Challenging situations occur with Alzheimer’s and other dementias. Change is inevitable, some easy and some tough, but there are resources ready to assist you. Respite, our support group, Nevada 2-1-1, or the Alzheimer’s Helpline 1-800-272—3900 are four. For many the hardest step is the first one. It’s not simple to realize that caring for a loved one is not only hard but sometimes scary. Arguments, confusion, and misplaced resentment are part of a range of emotions that arise. Dangers include falling, leaving appliances running with no one in attendance, spam calls, or home intrusions. Being prepared helps.
Another valuable action is checking that legal and financial plans are in order. Knowing what a loved one wants with a fairly clear mind reduces some potential trials down the road. An additional concern may be accepting that the individual with reduced capacity remains an autonomous individual and has the right to give away or sell everything in possession even if this is not in that person’s best interest. Without paperwork and legal action to protect loved ones, ownership may vanish. This is another reason to plan ahead and work through those difficult conversation about aging, illness, decline, dying, and death.
How do you recognize stress? Often it begins with denial. I tell my caregivers that this emotion is common and it is harmless. No need to face the reality of this devastating disease if a person decides it does not exist. Denial, however, is often accompanied with anger. It is sometimes easier to be mad than to look straight at a disease. Feeling anxious, depressed, and exhausted may take turns with a caregiver. Social withdrawal is frequently an apparent answer. “If I pull away and ignore the outside world, things will get set right again.” Each of these may lead to sleeplessness which increases irritability and an inability to concentrate. The end result? Health issues for the caregiver.
We come full circle with the tribulations of being a caregiver. It explains why some caregivers pre-decease their loved ones – this fulltime job is just too much. So please – join us for book and topic discussion. Permit your loved one to join our respite group and of course, the caregivers are welcome to attend until they feel confident that this is a safe, reliable source of relief. Then there is the support group. Realizing that you are not alone, that others are confronting the quagmire of dementia, brings some peace as you share your worries and others reveal theirs Power and safety in numbers are absolute truths. Or maybe you just want to chat – contact me any time.