I was not really scared of the dark as a young boy. I actually remember my first fear of monsters way back then.
I was on my way out of our shed and going in home, which was a short distance. I had my back turned toward the road and the field beyond it. Halfway down that field there were woods and bushes.
I imagined dark monsters moving out of those bushes and creeping up the field to get me. I had to hurry in the house quickly.
Even though I knew I had imagined this evil force, I still felt real fear.
There was no clear dividing line between fantasy and reality for me in those days.
I could close my eyes tight and see all sorts of images in moving color. There was action, drama and adventure at my disposal, just like the movies.
I recall seeing two fashionable ladies in colorful dresses riding their bicycles down the road. When I pointed them out to my sister, she just scoffed at me saying there was nothing there at all.
After that, in incidents such as seeing my Dad through the window on his way home from work, I would not exclaim “Daddy’s home!”. I
would wait for someone else to notice him to make sure it was a real-life image.
Giants roamed the hills near my home. Leprechauns hid under mushrooms in the meadow. I well remember going out searching for them carrying a basket. The basket was to be loaded up and to bring all their gold back home.
Kids believe in Santa Clause, fairies and other magical worlds. Their existence is ever so real to them.
That joyous thrill of innocence, mystery and adventure is very special indeed.
But sadly, those happy days of building castles in your backyard, seeing dragons in the clouds and being whatever character, you want to be; those lovely days fade into memories way too soon.
Suddenly one day you find yourself in school. You are to learn the nuts and bolts of what they call the real world.
You are to sit still and be quiet. No more run, jump, play and be free as a bird. ABC’s, rules and politeness are drummed into you.
Spontaneous creativity is frowned on. Proper behavior, compliance and submission are praised and rewarded. Your bright golden world slowly turns a dull grey.
Falls from bicycles and skinned knees are no major concerns for you. But adults warn and stress the importance of care and safety.
It takes them some time to impress on you the concepts of danger, sickness and pain. Little by little you adapt to their many regulations and restrictions. You have faith and confidence in adults. They know what’s best.
But, for a while, you were young, wild and free.
I think of those days from time to time and I miss them. Climbing tall trees, fishing in the stream by my house, picking blackberries and hazelnuts with my two older sisters, (even though they picked on me), it was still great.
The wind, cold and the rain didn’t seem to bother me. I had a keen taste for food. My body was growing and getting stronger. Fun and adventure waited for me around every corner.
I could charm adults with just a smile. The world around me had a glow of beauty that I myself enhanced.
There were fiery orange clouds lighting up the western skies as the sun sank behind the hills. Twilight ran on for hours in midsummer back then.
Morning dew glistened on the grass as rabbits hopped about in the distance. You knew for sure you were having a good summer and it gladdened your heart when you heard the cuckoo.
Well, just to think of it is a thrill. It’s all coming back to me now; my long-lost youth that is. But these precious memories are not lost. They’re still there in my mind. That magical land of green is still so real to me in those rare old times of my boyhood in the Irish countryside.
Dan O’Connor can be reached at danhughoconnor@gmail.com