#Since I spend most days in lace up work boots, jeans and long sleeve T-shirts with my nails clipped short and my hair simply braided back out of my way, the last thing I usually think about out on the ranch are my eyebrows.
#Still, I have company coming from Germany and a couple of dress up engagements to attend, so I started thinking about getting my hair trimmed and maybe trying on some of my daughter’s makeup. I guess I don’t look very carefully in the mirror when I brush my teeth or brush my hair because when I actually did look carefully, I realized that with mostly staying home the last few months while recovering from my hip replacement, I had grown a couple pretty impressive dark blonde caterpillars over my eyes.
#I looked at my schedule and realized that I really didn’t have time to go to town for a salon date anyway. I usually trim my own bangs between haircuts, so I did an extra careful job this time. Then I fished around the medicine cabinet for my wax. I’m not a novice with makeup or grooming; but, living and working out here, I really don’t have much need to put on more than sunblock and I obviously had not dealt with my eyebrows since last autumn.
#I’m not a squeamish person. I used to take an injectable medicine for headaches and I routinely gave myself the shots. I’ve also used a home surgical kit to stitch myself up more than once when I probably should have gone into the ER but didn’t have the time or money. Bottom line, a little pain doesn’t phase me; but waxing my eyebrows always fills me with dread. I want no comment or laughing from the men reading this, because most of you clearly do not understand.
#Smearing hot microwaved wax on the thin skin above your eyes, quickly covering it with a fabric strip and then ripping it off is a brutal ritual, worse still is using tweezers to pluck the few straggling survivors that remain. I almost feel like I need a drink before attempting this each time; but, then my fear is that I won’t be steady handed and may wax too much and end up looking permanently surprised or worse, left with only one eyebrow. I definitely have to psych myself up for the adventure. I try reminding myself that I will look and feel fresher and more bright eyed once I finish, and that it’ll last me for at least a few months. None of that really works, and I usually just grit my teeth and power through.
#I did the deed this morning and it was predictably very painful and unpleasant. When I looked down at the used wax strips completely imbedded with my former eyebrows, I had to laugh and wonder who in the world came up with the beauty standard that required this torture. Then I looked into the mirror and realized that indeed, I look fresher with nice, neat brows. Then I headed outside to pick up dog poop in the yard. I laughed out loud at the realization that being a pooper scooper ended up being the highlight of my morning.
#Kris Stewart is a rancher (with nice, neat brows) in Paradise Valley, Nevada.