Once again, words of wisdom that reflect a belief in the goodness of all people. “In sickness and in health” provides an excellent compass for every individual. Caregivers are an example of compassion.
Even under the extreme duress of a 24/7 relentless responsibility, they are able to smile and state, “We’re doing just fine.” They most often are, too, but caring for anyone – baby to the elderly — requires extensive amounts of strength, forgiveness, love, and resilience.
A positive side effect includes that compassion given is most often returned in abundance. My brother-in-law, Rich, offers a sound case of this.
Carole had early onset Alzheimer’s disease. In hindsight I can trace initial signs of decline to when she was 53. Always forgetful, I could brush off some of her new behaviors, but within a couple of years I recognized that it was far worse than imagined. Some days were good – she acted as if her cognition ticked along fine.
Other days she appeared puzzled at the ordinary routines of life by selecting inappropriate clothing, her inability to plan a meal, and the unsureness of how to complete a check. That up and down signaled the worsening of memory. By her 60th birthday she no longer knew her spouse, her daughter, her sisters… other than during a fleeting moment of recognition.
Through this all Rich, still worked fulltime and yet delivered compassion and patience. His “We’re doing fine” response did not seem so from my perspective, but he persevered. Her occasional giggles and tender touch carried him – all of us, actually – through.
My support group members present additional examples of compassion. It is not that they do not become frustrated and angry, but they regroup because they understand that dementia happens by chance, not a choice. They may deny the extent of the toll of caregiving; they may wave off offers of help. Many regret the “would have, should have, and could have” situations of life as they smile and carry on. You have to respect their diligence and resolution.
Coming soon, January 17th, between the Lowry girls and boys basketball game versus Spring Creek, Alzheimer’s Awareness along with local dignitaries such as Judge Montero, Mayor Rich Stone, Senior Director Brandie Pettis, GBC Representative Jolina Adams, Molly Rose Lewis of Senator Rosen’s office, and Northern Nevada Alzheimer’s Association Director Niki Rubarth plus Coaches Cabatbat and Green (and more) will participate in Tie-One-On.
This is an annual festivity where Lowry Cheer quickly tie purple bowties on the aforementioned individuals. Every attendee will be given their own purple ribbon tie to represent that Winnemucca Cares about Alzheimer’s and other Dementias. Donations are accepted and there is a terrific purpose in mind for these funds.
In December ADF-Winnemucca and Park Cinemas shared Alive Inside. Based on research on music and memory, this documentary says more in 70 minutes than I can ever explain. The power of the right music for the designed specifically for the individual amazes.
Music calms agitation, lets the mind flow to previous moments in life, and truly brings out the deepest emotions and memories held within the brain. If you would like to borrow this movie for your own interest, please contact me.
With the impact of music in mind, we will purchase individual MP3 players or Walkman complete with earbuds and headsets for every member of local respite and residents of Harmony Manor and Quail Corner. With the assistance of Lowry Cheer and their advisor Cherese Fifield, each person will be interviewed, snippets of preferred music played, a song list created and then downloaded onto personal players for all. Lowry Cheer helped with this several years ago and they are ready to roll again. Perhaps you have the expertise and the time to bring this project to fruition. Join us, please. Now that’s compassion.
We just returned from Maui amidst the Southwest Snafu. With cancelled flights, we booked on American to make the trip home. Along the route every American employee assisted us to find better connections and to check on our well-being. Most often they also disclosed their compassion for all airline passengers tangled in the cancellation web as well as the employees of Southwest. Even though it is the competition, they cared. This is the sort of world that I love to live in. This is the view of the world that makes me want to do more to make it better. Happy 2023!
