No, this is not about cleaning your house or your garage. You know how I have struggled with that! In fact, I had determined that this would be the week of great possession severance as I tossed and chucked worthless junk, however, it is a challenge that I can face only in small doses. My mom blamed hanging on to bits of aluminum foil, bread ties, and cottage cheese containers to the Depression and World War II; I do not have that excuse. I just like to hang on.
The hard part today is letting go of emotions, angst, tribulation, and things that do not necessarily belong to me. A recent book, The Lost and Found Book Club, mentioned an author who based his works on “flip it”. Say, for example, I dislike how someone reacts to the care I’m providing for a loved one.
I have choices: anger, agitation, lashing out, denial, or simply ignoring the situation. While these may sound like solutions, they really aren’t. They often only escalate the problem. Ideas may be out on the table, but can the hurt caused ever be erased?
With “flip it” the task is to evaluate the scene from an opposite perception. Why am I being criticized and second guessed? How might I adjust my position and my actions to remedy the growing dilemma?
This often arises with the caregivers with whom I interact. If Sis questions why Mom doesn’t have a bath every day I might re-examine the need for one. If she smells or is endangering herself, the bath is a necessity; if the bath increases anxiety and frustration, is there another approach?
A sponge bath, a warm, private bathing area, soothing music and words, or gentle touch might save the day. I’ll find a solution; I might even share it with Sis. But threaten my Sis or suggest she try the bathing process herself, probably is not a good idea. Mom needs the consistency that I offer not more anxiety based on interference. Denial of Sis’s request may help; ignoring her might produce positive results. However, either of these is most likely short-term. Real answers to tough conditions require time, energy, and reflection.
This hard parting topic arose during my Friday writing class. One author was taking her hundred-page dissertation and winnowing it down to 30 pages for a publication. Although I have never written a dissertation (other than ramblings that I undertake for fun), I am aware of the intensive research and comparison needed to put ideas together to describe and convince others of the plausibility of a theory or assertion.
Editing out key points is challenging if not overwhelming. Often issues that must be sliced in the interest of succinctness are foundational to the theme of a work.
When I submitted my book to ASCD it covered over 500 pages. My editor, the dear that she is, suggested that I pare it down to half the size.
I did and she felt happy and publication ensued. The best part is that she trusted me with my own work. She did not second guess what should or should not be included, she just stated, “250 pages - max!” My job then forced me to focus, adjust, re-organize, and above all determine the most important parts of my work.
In another editing situation, the editor took my writing based on hands-on interaction with teachers, and reloaded it to fit her need. In the end, my name headed the piece but the events within were not even similar to what had actually happened. I shared this with her to which she said, “Oh, well. That doesn’t really matter.” Funny, I thought it did.
This last experience has made me cautious when editing for others. Authors pour tremendous energy and consideration into their words. Each word, each phrase and sentence, possess value. I try to respect that. For our book review, Debbie and I write separately. I send her my synopsis, she sends me hers, and then I weave them together. With our 750-word maximum, we often hit 850+.
This is the exciting part – cutting, changing while not impeding impact. When the excess words are in my section, editing is simple; when they are in Debbie’s, it is harder. How can I reject her words? How can I change even one? They belong to her, not to me. Somehow I find a way to satisfy us both.