As our ADF-Winnemucca meeting drew to a close last Tuesday, a profound statement arose: What can I do to be a part of the solution?
Shared by Brandie Pettis, Director of Pleasant Senior Center, her words resonated. Our topics had a wide range that day, but every idea, every thought, every potential action boiled down to discovering or uncovering needs, manipulating and adjusting to make solutions match specific needs, and then solving problems in a positive manner. I hope this concept encourages every reader to become a part of solutions. Your input and insight are vital.
To begin, Alzheimer’s and other dementias are often secretive diseases. After all who wants to admit that mental capacity is somewhat diminished. We observe physical problems; we note social anxiety; we accept certain changes as we (and others) age. We accept various interpretations and personal choices and even nod knowingly at some peculiarities. But mental decline we tend to hide. It is embarrassing to offer an unacceptable response to a question or to answer in a confusing fashion, however, these things happen. Pressure to be right, behave correctly, and respond according to acceptable norms may only acerbate the inability to respond cohesively and correctly when being scrutinized. So let’s all become a part of the solution.
Your neighbor is confused and her backing out of the driveway has become frightening. Mailboxes are down and flowerbeds askew. How might you assist?
A friend’s Dad appears exhausted and is often out of sorts. His formerly meticulously cared for yard is full of weeds and garbage. He smiles and says all is well, but you know his infrequent forays outside are because of the constant care his wife requires in the home. How might you step in?
Your brother says Uncle George is just a little forgetful; your mom says you are exaggerating Uncle’s deterioration. And the worst? Your best friend assures you to stop fretting and enjoy life. How might you remedy these misinterpretations of concern?
Mom is completely worn out and has frequent illnesses that were not present in the past. Dad is getting ornery and verbal altercations have accelerated to threats of violence. You have even seen some broken glasses (neatly tucked into the garbage) that seem out of character for a woman who maintains a fastidious home. How can you help?
First of all, do not be surprised when you offer assistance that your best intentions are declined. It is hard to admit that everything is not humming along to perfection. Try again; suggest a new way to take care of the perceived issue. Ask questions; repeat your sincere proposal to lend a hand.
Next recommend some alternatives: breaks in the day to let people refresh and revitalize. Do you realize that every Thursday from 11:30am until 3 pm, there is free respite at Pleasant Senior Center? This means that the caregiver can leave a loved one in capable hands while he or she attends to all of the other requirements of living. You might drive your neighbor to the Center for lunch and entertainment; weed and pick up refuge so that a friend’s Dad has a break; take the person with forgetfulness to a place of fulfillment; provide naptime for an overburdened caregiver. These are just a few possibilities.
Respite at the Center starts with sign-in, exchange of phone numbers, a brief interview to best meet the needs of a loved one, and then lunch – paid for by Alzheimer’s and
Dementia Awareness. Following lunch, it’s off to the Board room for chair exercise to promote physical movement, card and board games to stimulate mental acuity, puzzles and coloring for problem solving and dexterity, yoga or meditation to de-stress and refocus, a quick video to inspire reflection and conversation, and then a bit of singing. Music and memory are incredible partners and work to incite brain activity. Naturally, the order varies according to the session and the attendees; everything is geared to coordinate with individual interests.
I know, I feel, that you are thinking, “What can I do to be a part of the solution? Ah, the prospects are limitless. You can transport your friend or family member to respite and then take the caregiver to lunch or run errands, volunteer to assist with the respite program granting us your unique talents, drop of craft kits for constructive, creative activities. You can just be you – part of the solution!