Local Grief Share group meeting Nov. 5, RSVP now

The new normal…you hear that term thrown around by people describing life after the loss of a loved one; but, you really can’t appreciate it until you have lived through it. It can be especially difficult during the holiday season. 

The new normal means different things to each of us. For me, after the loss of my husband three years ago, the new normal not only described me having to live and run our family ranch without him, but it also meant reevaluating traditions, business models and relationships, and adjusting my expectations in each. 

For a very long time, Fred, his folks, Patrice and I were a very close, insular group here on the ranch. We spent the holidays at home mostly because of the practical consideration that we needed to be here to feed animals and look after the place daily. Winter is no time to travel if it means leaving your ranch unsupervised. In nearly thirty years, I think we only spent one Christmas away from the ranch and that was when Fred’s dad was still active enough to look after things for us. After Fred’s passing, I hired local full time help, and was able to slip away for a few days because we had daily on-site help and because they were local, spending a few hours feeding and checking water didn’t take them away from their families, something that will always be important to me. I never want to ask more from an employee than I would ask of myself. 

Anyway, I was able to sneak away for a few days at Christmas in the first two years after Fred’s passing and spend the time with my side of the family, then last year, we all spent the holidays here at the ranch, which felt like at least a partial return to normal for me. I felt proud of myself for surviving the holidays and for using some of the important ideas I had learned in trying to build a new life.

This year, I admit to being thrown for a loop when I heard that my family had made plans to revert back to their traditional trip to a lakeside family cabin in California, a trip that because of distance, I cannot make with them. 

I found myself feeling very panicked about spending the holidays alone more than three years after losing Fred. My anxiety, sadness and grief hit me in an unexpectedly deep and fresh way. My family did nothing wrong, but I felt hurt, very alone and reeling from a part of grief that I assumed I had already dealt with. 

If you are suffering from any of these feelings after losing a loved one, and would like some practical and focused help, please join me for a three hour Griefshare workshop  SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS. 

With the generous support of pastor Judy Robbins and Winnemucca’s United Methodist Church, we are pleased to offer this program free of charge on Saturday, November 5, from 9 am until noon in the upstairs meeting room of the Methodist Church on Winnemucca Blvd. Please call to reserve a spot, and we’ll have a workbook and refreshments ready when you arrive. The program combines a very helpful video, a workbook for you to take home as well as an opportunity for group discussion.

I can promise you that while not a cure-all, SURVIVING THE HOLIDAYS will give you some valuable tools for getting through this sometimes difficult season and finding new joy and meaning as we all accept our new normal. 

Please rsvp to Kris Stewart, 775 304-9399.

Some Tips for Coping with Grief at the Holidays



• Set realistic expectations for yourself. 



• Surround yourself with people who love and support you. 



• Despite the temptation, try to avoid “canceling” the holiday. 



• Allow yourself to feel joy, sadness, anger – allow yourself to grieve. 



• Draw comfort from doing for others. 



• Take care of yourself. Avoid using alcohol to self-medicate your mood. Try to avoid the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. 



• Create a new tradition or ritual that accommodates your current situation.