Marilyn Nocciolo passed away peacefully on April 17, 2015, at Serenity House in Santa Barbara, CA. The cause of death was congestive heart failure. She was 86. In 2009, Marilyn and her husband, Albert (Al) Nocciolo, moved from their home of 51 years in Saugus, CA, to Santa Barbara to be near family. They enjoyed several years at Maravilla Senior Residential Community before Al’s death in March 2013 from kidney failure.
Marilyn June Nocciolo (nee Neal) was born in Lovelock, Nevada, on October 22, 1928, to Hybert and Irene Neal. Raised in Winnemucca, NV, she was the eldest of three daughters. Marilyn had fond childhood memories of her grandparents’ farm in Lovelock, family trips to Lake Tahoe, and working as a waitress in the Humboldt Hotel. Her father encouraged her to attend the University of Nevada, Reno, where she would meet her future husband.
Following Marilyn’s graduation from Nevada, Al and Marilyn were married on September 1, 1950, in Winnemucca, NV. They lived in Reno while Al finished his bachelor’s degree. Upon Al’s graduation and first full-time teaching job, Marilyn was eager to become a mother and start a family, which would grow to include five children. Albert (Abby) was born in 1951 and Rosanne followed in 1953. Soon afterwards, they drove cross-country to the east coast, with Rosanne in a baby basket, so Al could attend graduate school at Columbia University in New York.
Living with Al’s Italian-immigrant parents in Newark, NJ, Marilyn was immersed in a culture that introduced her to the world of authentic Italian cooking. Though she didn’t speak Italian, and her in-laws didn’t speak English, they forged a bond in the kitchen, where Marilyn learned how to prepare Al’s favorite dishes. This experience served as the foundation on which Marilyn would create her own enduring family recipes. While living in New Jersey, their third child, Valarie, was born in 1955. Following Al’s graduation, and this time with Valarie riding in the baby basket, they drove back west to San Pedro, CA, where Al had a teaching position in nearby Torrance, CA. Before leaving for Saugus, CA, they added Mark to the family in 1958, and Teresa arrived in 1960 to round out the happy lot.
Marilyn’s life was full of simple pleasures, which focused on the well-being of her family. A devoted wife and mother; she nurtured and guided her children through the victories and pitfalls of adolescence, shuttling them between athletic events and appointments, often with a lead foot on the pedal in the days before traffic congestion. In the 1960s-and-70s she could be found managing or running the canteen at youth ballgames, long before volunteering was glamorous or required.
A self-professed homebody, Marilyn’s hobbies were blissfully domestic and centered on comfort. Home was filled with the electric hum of a busy kitchen, colorful blankets crotched by hand, and Christmas trees decorated with angels. But mostly home was filled with her presence. Long after her children were grown with families of their own, they continued to make pilgrimages home to Saugus, especially at the holidays, which were a special time for making new memories with extended family.
Marilyn’s cooking and baking were legendary, and she expressed her love by serving others. She faithfully prepared homemade meals from scratch, and even nursed a sourdough bread “starter” for years, which produced countless loaves of fresh bread that were enjoyed alongside her hearty soups and savory Italian dishes. Her culinary talents and generosity extended beyond her immediate family to include friends, neighbors, Al’s students, and even her physicians, who delighted in receiving packages of her fanciful cookies and her crusty baked bread.
For fun, Marilyn enjoyed playing bridge and was an original member of a women’s bridge group that began playing in Newhall, CA, in the early 1960’s. She was the last original member still playing when she moved to Santa Barbara in 2009. She and Al were blessed to have many cherished, lifelong friendships in Saugus, which they remembered fondly over the years.
More recently, Marilyn was diagnosed with dementia, which added to the challenges of aging and the loneliness of being widowed after 62 years of marriage. Despite the debilitating nature of the disease, she wanted to remain independent, and was able to do so with the help of caregivers that assisted her following a fall and broken arm in December 2013. The family appreciated the care she received from her dedicated private-duty aides, and assisted living aides, staff and nurses at Maravilla and the care team at Serenity House.
Survivors include her five children and their spouses, Albert Nocciolo (Linda) of Fresno, CA; Rosanne Spencer (Gordon) of Saratoga, CA; Valarie Kahoun (Ken) of Scottsdale, AZ; Mark Nocciolo (Stacey) of Santa Barbara, CA; and Teresa Calderon of Port Hueneme, CA; two sisters, Beverly Calder and Adrienne Couch, both of Winnemucca, NV; 11 grandchildren: Noël Nocciolo, Andrew Spencer, Philip Spencer, Natalie Spencer, Mathew Spencer, Brittney Finnegan (Patrick), Erin Spong (Nicholas), Katie Kahoun, Tessa Kahoun, Corinne Calderon, Chase Calderon; and 8 great-grandchildren: Mackenna Kaats, Hudson Steinbrunner, Miles Steinbrunner, twins Scarlett and Savannah Finnegan, Gracelyn Spong, Valentina Spong, Sebastian Calderon, and many nieces and nephews on both coasts. In keeping with her wishes, no services are planned.
Like many in her generation, mom’s quiet perseverance, patience and fortitude were qualities that shone throughout her life, and she will be missed.
